was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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