A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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