Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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I WILL DESTROY ISIS

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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Steven Yuhasz is so homosexual, he has sexual intercourse with other men and enjoys it. <33

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Water, please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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America Votes

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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