Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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