Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

cory is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A black guy gets a job...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops