Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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