What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Today I decided to burn alot of calories. So I found a fat kid and lit him on fire.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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poop is very very yummy.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Women's rights

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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general tso's broccoli

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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