Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

children burning

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops