Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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