Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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