Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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what's red and blue? your heart

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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