What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Har har hey

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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