Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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this is not a drill.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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96

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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