why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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women leaving the kitchen

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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