Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops