My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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