why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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YOU

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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