Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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