A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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save water shower with friends

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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toast points

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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