''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

diarrhea, diarrhea, duh duh diarrhea, I flush someone down the potty with my diarrhea Duh, duh diarrhea I want to marry my diarrhea duh duh diarrhea. Written by Niggalyncha666

thumb_up thumb_down -442

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops