what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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