I have read the Terms of Service.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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The EPA.

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DERP

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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