What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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A black guy with his family.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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