An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

A man walks into a bar Ouch!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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