Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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