How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What is the worst part of a 4 blacks hanging from a tree? They were only children

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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