What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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it was all Tagart

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Denard Robinson

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why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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