Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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96

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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