What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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