What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock knock who's there aids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops