why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

24

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

Your eye color is very unique.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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