Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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What is a vampire's favourite dessert? Vampires aren't real.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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