Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Paper shield.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops