How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A: B: No pun intended.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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