Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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