Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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a ginger has a soul

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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Dan O'Driscoll

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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