Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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