Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whos district champs not JM

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops