What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your no better than a cockroach

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

thumb_up thumb_down +18

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops