Your Mom

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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