What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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VAGINA.

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hello

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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two fish are in a tank.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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