Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whose your daddy? Not me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops