What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

women

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

a man died

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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