Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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I need to start studying.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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