Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops