1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Rick Perry.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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