roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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