How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What is funnier than 24 69

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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