A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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alcoholism kills

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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