A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops