What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is a dog? Bark

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Cool Brian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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