a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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