Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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