Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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meh

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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