Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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