What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -10

say cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops