Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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Continents are large islands.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

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Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops